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Lie to myself many times each day.

You’ll be fine, it’ll work itself out, it’s going to be ok.

Deep down, I’m barely hanging on.

Keep pushing, fake smile, give the illusion of being strong.

Surrounded

Surrounded by a million faces as life continues and all I feel is the absence of you.

Days Bleed

Days bleeding together in an unrecognizable kaleidoscope of grey.

Hollow is what is left from echoes of a shattered dream.

Fight the demons in my mind, edging ever closer to the grave.

Hoping against all odds, life is not what it seems.

Paving the Way

Each day,  choices are made.

Winding road, they pave the way.

Engulfed in the crowd but all alone.

Never too far, to come home.

Hear my heartbeat on the wind.

Eternal love, never dims.

Looked In The Mirror

I looked in the mirror today and did not know the face starring back at me. Where did the all the worry lines come from that now envelope this pale reflection of a person? Wasn’t it just yesterday the eyes looking back were bright with hope and dreams; not dull from all they have been forced to see?

Severed ties and an incomplete existence, at some point, have taken their toll. Ripping away the naivety and replacing it with calculated brutality. Is this what life really is, understanding of aloneness, absence? Maybe though...just maybe....this is just transitory and there  is still an ember smoldering deep...this, time will truly show.

Disparity

Tough question in life is not, onto what we should hold; but at what time we should simply....let go.

Time I Do

The time has come to lay down my arms.

Throw away the shield that I carried for so long.

The weight of what was, is all that is left.

Turn away from the brutality I visited on myself.

Another Day

Another day, after this one is done.

No sleep, no rest, least the nightmares come.

Showing the truth behind the lies.

Alone to stand, until time does die.

Abundance of desolation, the weight to bear.

Push comes to shove, they will never be there.

My Fear

I do not shed tears at the thought of death, but for the life that was never really lived.

One Day

One day I will no longer be around.

Fading into the pages of a closed chapter of life.

Remnants of what was lingering like a summer afternoon.

Snuffed from existence without nary a sound.

Occupying the place between a dream and an afterthought.

All that which can never be undone, haunting slumber.

Touch and scent becoming harder to remember.

Seared into eternity , how hard I had fought.

Here Again

Here I find myself again.

Standing at the crossroads end.

Shadows embraced, memories of lost friends.

Unsure the steps I should try to take.

Alone in despair to ponder the mysteries of fate.

From this living nightmare I can’t seem to wake.

Do You

Do you still feel my words?

Whisper on the winds of a raging storm.

Can you still hear my feelings?

Sharp pain of focus in a world once blurred.

Everything

I don’t need to be anything to everybody or everything to anybody...just something special to you.

We Remain

Somehow through all the turmoil and pain.

When it seems we somehow lost our way.

The simple truth that we are, remains.

Through the Cracks

Through brief cracks in your facade, I see true light. 

Shining brightly as the moon on the darkest of nights.

Giving a glimpse of what lies beneath.

Feelings you hide and the demons you keep.

Unspoken words manifested , the seeds through eternity sown.

The fear and wonder at how deep a connection can go.

Clarity

Once in a while, unpleasant moments of clarity.

Disruption to the narrative laid out.

Interruption of the illusion that was carefully made.

Enormity of the disparity.

Crafting the web of deception, this happy life.

Balancing the knives that cut to stop the bleeding.

Hiding in the dark because it is easier than the truth.

Fear of the unknown greater than the most brilliant light.

Tormenting yourself with the promises they might keep.

Succumbed to the inevitability of probability.

Trying your best to extinguish the ember within.

Unrelenting in the pursuit of self fulfilling prophecy.

The Light

The light that cuts through the blackest of nights; is the same that can burn you alive. Carful when chasing the sun, least you end up back in darkness, where you begun.

Without A Crown

Well I’ve been down,

For awhile now.

Trying to find peace,

In a place of no return.

Still I linger,

A faded figment of past promises.

Echoes of the forgotten,

Sorrow’s king without a crown.

Dream of You

I had the dream about you again.

Unifying of hearts, collision of skin.

Moments of bliss when time stood still.

Reaffirmed each day, exactly how I feel.

Isn’t Over Yet

You can wallow in the would of, could of, should of cloud of regret;

Or change actions today, life isn’t over yet.

Articulation Of Sorrow

Wish I could articulate the sorrow in my soul.

Never the right time to explain, always something  causing a delay.

Things that dwell in my heart, the shadows moving in the dark.

The pain seared in my mind; hope lost, never again to find.

Not that it matters anymore, all these thing you will never know.

Taught Me

Taught the most brutal of truths.

Needing anyone is a foolish thing to do.

Most turn their back, when times get tough.

Never again, last time was enough.

Survivor

Unintentional survivor of self inflicted wounds.

Craving the peace of nighttime slumber,

But morning comes too soon.

Clutching the heartstring, what’s left of hope.

Today can be the day I rise from the under,

And not feel the tightening of the hangman’s rope.

Say

All the things I wish I would say.

The things I would love to do,

And the time I should spend with you.

Turned to regret since I no longer have, just one more day. 

Sight to Behold

Turning away from all the lies.

Facing the brutal truth finally told.

No longer need illusions to survive.

What comes next will be a sight to behold.

No safe place I can hide,

On bated breath, as the future unfolds.

Promises unkept, I will no longer cry.

Onto unfathomable potential, I will hold.

I Have Heard

I have listened to your past and see your pain.

Why you hold on to illusions as long as it will stay.

How can you believe in more, when life has shown you it’s all the same.

When in the softest time, you were cast away.

My wish this day, honest and true;

There is more in this life, under the sun.

To see yourself as I always do.

And hold close the memories of laughter, love and fun.

You are so much more, than you will ever know.

The most amazing of all creation when just being you.

Superb strength inside, though it ebbs and flows.

Know you will find your way out of the grey and into the blue.

Calling for Strength

Calling for strength from the spirit within.

Steeped in loneliness, forged from the fires of pain.

Chapter of life written in blood and sin.

Rise from the remnants of the old, time to be myself again.

Real Enough

The ghosts that haunt my dark dreams.

Might not be real but real enough to me.

Loving faces twisted with disgust.

Nothing is ever what it seems.

Come each time I try to shut my eyes.

Corrupting all that I think I believe.

Don’t want to face them again, but I must.

Each time a little more of me gives up and dies.

Taking the forms that can hurt me the most.

Breaking my own illusion, forced to see.

My heart is something I can no longer trust.

Haunted always, my life, my mind, my ghosts.

For Too Long

For too long you have accepted you’re to blame.

For too long you have believed the promised lies.

For too long you allowed the cruel little names.

For too long twisted into questioning feelings inside.

For too long hearing you’re the one wrong.

For too long manipulated into “this is right”.

For too long enjoying when they are gone.

For too long not believing you can fight.

For too long stopped by crocodile tears.

For too long held down by miss placed guilt.

For too long feelings of wasted years.

For too long in the house that emptiness built.

With You

I hope you see it in my actions, in everything that I do.

Should you ever question whats in my heart; it’s life is simply better with you.

Broken Roads

Broken roads, running in tandem.

Never knew the face but you have always felt them.

The pain and manipulation of years gone by.

Evaporate into the either, in their presence, you come alive.

Long forgotten dreams, manifest once again.

Realization you have found in this life, a lover, a partner, and a best friend.

Another Day

Another day, much like all the rest.

Get through it the best we can.

Hope lost to an untimely death.

Nothing will change until we decide to make a stand. 

Lonely Road

What a lonely road we can sometimes stroll.

Winding this way and that, it continues to go.

Broken dreams above, paved with bone.

Ghosts of the past all around and yet we walk alone.

Ashes

From the ashes of yesterday, tomorrow will arose.

Measure of Love

Many measure love in the amount of roses given, money spent or keeping a ring on until they die. How cool would it be to measure it in the laughter shared, moments breath is taken away or unconditional acceptance given without a need to try?

Shadows

Nightmares come with glowing, malicious eyes.

Words they whisper, chill me to the bone.

Wish I could still believe they were telling lies.

Wake up trembling, scared, all alone.

Random Encounters

Random encounters can lead to the most unimaginable futures.

FITN149

It would be nice to lay my head in loves lap at the end of the day. Let their fingers run through my hair and have worries melt away.

Today

Today, yesterdays tomorrow, that has finally come.

Breaking the chains that bind and into the future run.

Limitless potential, embraced at long last.

Clutch tightly whats been proven and let go of the past.