Time flys..

I can unequivocally say that evening was so hard for me as I was so in my own head trying to figure out WTH was going on and just wanting to be talking with her..but..at that point I was back at the house...with people that did not really like me..the real me...and that guy was coming out more and more so things were getting much more tense..and I spent more time sitting in my garage, drinking and listening to music...so yes folks why we each had our “perfect lives”....turns out we both put on really good fronts of what is “supposed to be”...

Mr. strong uncaring/feeling me who wasn't going to ask her to go for a ride was doing just that less than 24 hours later..and she said yes without skipping a beat...of course there might have been some quips about giving in so fast but I would expect no less!....

Between going out to lunch and talking..to going parking and kissing we found out very quickly that when we are together time literally disappears and what felt like a half hour was really four!..and the laughter..so much laughing and smiling my face hurt lol

That week she made a comment that really hit me “I have never seen you as a Monster”...That is what I have viewed myself, or been told I was as for such a long time until I just shut down caring....and hearing her say that there was a part in the back of my mind that believed her and one little spark in an otherwise blackened soul that started smoldering again....and no it still hasn't fully been accepted by me, and not sure I can ever see me the way she does...but it really hit me hard at the time....(and no she will likewise never see in herself all of the magick, strength, intelligence and breathtaking beauty I see when I look at her...and that is OK for both of us)....