Nightmares return, night after sleepless night.
Against my own mind, I continue to fight.
Holding onto the last shred of who I want to be.
Temptation so great, to just set my spirit free.
Where I should be, just out of sight.
Continue onward, nothing worth having ever comes easy.
Standing alone, by myself again.
Heavy heart, empty soul, trapped in a shell of skin.
Wanting life, just out of reach, to begin.
Standing outside the window, looking in.
One night at a time shared heart and mind. Push ever closer to whole, reattach the missing piece of our soul. Time holds no sway, within each other to stay. Alone we will never be, together we are free.
That peculiar time each day.
Trouble ease a bit and worries melt away.
Laughing becomes normal again.
Exhilaration runs beneath the skin.
Hold onto those moments through the cold, black night.
Keeps alive, the reason to fight.
Echoes of laughter and tears, faint diversion by unrealized dreams.
Holding onto the reality spoken of as a certainty yet to come.
Pain paves the way, shows the truth, that miracles are as real as they seem.
Beating back dark thoughts within, letting the emotional waves crest without going numb.
Why is such a simple question, with the most uncertain answer.
Why stay, why go, is it worse or better.....that great unknown?
Give into the melancholy of what is, or be emblazoned like a great firedancer.
Those feelings of acceptance in the corner of your mind, are all in your grasp at any point in time.
Staring into the dark, day after day.
Colors have faded and finally gone away.
Left listening to ghosts of the past.
Remembering lost moments, I tried to make last.
Hitting me in the heartache again.
Demons subtle whispering begins.
Clawing just under the surface of my skin.
Reinforcing just why I will never win.
Left alone with dark thoughts and my sins.
My hands are scarred from years of work.
My body broken over time on this earth.
My faith has waned, sometimes I want to quit.
My heart is fragile but yours if you want it.
Why do you still haunt me...whispering endearing lies, subtly corrupting my dreams. Validations of no-existent transgressions, yet somehow I am to blame. I gave you the power, let you into places never before beheld by another, and with my own fear and loathing you did smother. Lost everything but found myself in the darkness...I learned to love me more even as you loved me less. Now as I walk into tomorrow with my head held high, leaving your spiteful heart alone in your illusionary perfection to cry. You’re now stuck in memories of a long ago past and must deal, by yourself, with karmic wrath. I only wish you warm days and restful nights, but wont be there to bear the weight..you are no longer worth that fight.
Time is no friend of mortal people.
Minds eye darkened as years roll by.
Memories locked inside a decaying temple.
Names and faces become elusive, no matted how hard one tries.
Live life on the razors edge.
Becoming more disgusted being myself.
A little to little, not knowing what to say.
They turn their back and walk away.
Leaving me on my own again.
Wishing the pain soon would end.
One day you will wake and not remember why you were sad for so long. That is the day you can take a breath and know you have moved on.
Another night like those before.
Silence deafening, dark thoughts from which I can’t hide..
Decayed inside, no longer care anymore.
What will happen when the last butterfly dies?
Lack of the laughter once known.
Stop to care or just keep going backwards into the future.
Try to regain all that was or let it go with nary a goodbye?
Continuing to choke me with your persistent lies.
Forcing me to my knees a little more each time.
Try to break away but paralysis sets in.
Broken over the years, when did it all begin?
One day soon all you will have is your hate.
The is my life and living will no longer wait.
Time slips by and still I am here.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Lived life without you, so nothing left to fear.
Push forward, promise for myself each new day.
Calloused heart, not able to again shed a tear.
Mute now, just nothing left to say.
We limit ourselves with needless fear, wasting precious time, squandering years. Stay in a life that’s just good enough, hide away from the blessings and pain of real love.
When you realize that you are not where you want to be. You can choose to repeat the past, or move beyond what never really was, to set your future free.
Scream at heaven since your gone.
Broken man without a home.
Have no fight left to give,
Feeling no reason left to live.
Memories torment me ever night,
The missing partner of my life.
For you that I continue to go on,
Make you proud of how far I have come.
Afternoons spent, laughing in the sun.
The best of times but now they are gone..
Wish it is, what it was before.
Will it ever be worth something more?
When you can love, after you see the darkness within.
My darling, that is where forever really begins.
Where we have been, where will we go?
Deeper than before or just strangers we used to know?
My father was not a bad man, but he was a lost one. Spent a lifetime battling demons of his mind. Floating in and out of lives, one day there and another gone.
Existing in some place between reality and a dream. Never over the mistakes constantly made, yet never being able to make a change. Unable to become more, to be anything in which for a child to believe.
Mind takes a toll on the body over time. Wasting away both brings a man to a place he cannot return. Past moments spent alone, no kind words, or love before he died.
Spent my life running from the ghost he became. Trying to prove, to myself, I was better than who he was. Yet as my sight grows dim, as the days grow silent and empty, I have come to understand...I am the same.
Sun comes up, sun goes down.
Another day to be so far from home.
Even though your not around.
Gave my all, every single day.
Live life loved, alone.
You never would have stayed.
Demons you harbor, internally you fight.
Pray you find your strength in spirit and bone.
Eternity beckons, see you again in another life.
Just because words don’t leave a physical mark, doesn’t mean there isn’t deep scars.
The breaking of a spirit takes time, so behind a loving mask, the monster hides.
You used to laugh at me when I got lost looking at you.
Told you I was memorizing the curves of your face.
Captured mental pictures of a time and place.
Wanted to know every expression you make.
How you looked when my breath you would take.
The reasons were time was short, until seeing it all was something I could no longer do.
Time moves by, all to fast.
Illusions of longevity will not last.
Body broken, by the unseen.
What once was, can no longer be.
Magic is real, bonds that can’t be severed.
Hearts entwined, souls tangled together.
Tomorrow is no place for our forever.
Take my hand in yours and let go never.
An inconvenient truth can be ignored for only so long.
Mind races faster each day, stretching the bindings that hold you together.
Waves of fear at the impending storm on the horizon.
Winds carry the chill of an apocalyptic song.
Running from yourself as best you can.
Fear feeding frailty of body and soul.
Wasting away with each tick of the pendulum
Reflections of perfection, faded footsteps in the sand.
Inconvenient truth with eternal duration.
Wall built crumbling under the weight of realization.
Acceptance breaking the surface.
What should have been, turned into final validation.
Moments of fleeting clarity bring painful reality.
Where did the dream go, lost on this dead end road.
Living in a passive state, taunted by the cruelty of fate.
Wanting to make a change but keep doing things the same.
One last chance to be proven wrong, maybe not too late to save it all.
Close the chapter on purgatories past, build the life that is meant to past.
The malignancy of each new day is only overshadowed by the lengths we go, to not make a change.
Dreams of a time, now long gone and far away.
Bleed into the nightmare I have now become.
Jaded to the point of no return.
Counting down ticks of the clock, day after day.
No longer believing in anything, soul completely numb.
Learning my lessons with each lash upon my back.
Watching complacently as I fade into infinity.
Unrecognizable reflection once the beatings are done.
I break a little more every day.
Nothing left that I can say.
Hide it all behind my happy face.
Hate who I am, such a waste.
Praying for the peaceful embrace of death.
Feel the constrictions around my heart with each ragged breath.
So tired of chasing the mirage of realized hope,
Ending up with another noose around my throat.
Pulled under by soul crushing, emotional waves.
Just another dreamer who couldn’t be saved.
The good guys don’t always wear a white hat.
Seldom do they ride off with the girl.
Home really isn’t anything, just where you happen to be at.
No matter how hard you try, you probably wont change the world.
Happiness is an illusion for dreamers and poets.
You can do everything right and still come up short.
Forever is a thing only meant for a decedent quote.
You will be broken time and again, and never have a retort.
Outside, howling winds of a raging winter storm.
Eternally enveloped in solitude, I quietly mourn.
Reminiscing over a wasted life that has gone by too fast,
Wanting nothing more than to lay myself to rest.
What is weighing on your mind to add the lines to your face? Time spent memorizing ever curve, how your eyes squint when you laugh or the dark circles from the night without rest. I can see the pain written in your eyes, hear the sorrow in each breath you take. How is it you have come to this forsaken time and place.
I have seen you come so far, only to slip time and again. You pull everything inside, trying to contain the corrosive emotions. Showing only what is needed to get through another day. Lying to yourself to continue loosing the war within.
Pushed away and pulled closer in your soul still. Magic the likes you never thought possible; never dies but bides its time holding you when you need it the most. Your shelter in the night is always there, simply step inside. Feel the warmth that believes in you, embraces you and always will.
The only thing between you and what you really want to do....is the fear you hold onto. Take a step out of the dark, go through the challenges and on YOUR journey embark.
