The Day

There will come the day.

The anger is shelved, the fear quelled.

You don’t know what tomorrow holds,

But you know it starts by walking away.

The excuses you have made for years,

Now nothing more than faint echos in the wind.

Promises of change, twisting of words, barrage of gifts.

You know now, it is only for themselves they shed tears.

No matter how hard you have tried to justify,

Or the reasons they hide behind.

They have never accepted nor stopped the pain they cause,

And choose to see life through petulant childs eyes.

They will never really change, and that is ok.

Let them live their life devoid of the security of a perpetual source.

They can rage, scream or cry, you wont be there to see.

Wish them well, close the door…today is the day.

Outside In

Toyed with like I can’t believe

Picture perfect life or so it seems

Just an inconvenient little plaything 

No one knows the hell this all brings

Keep in line or pay the price

No one to believe what I could say

Words, over time, cut deeper than a knife 

Shut my mouth, it’s just another day

The cage looks good from the outside in

Self inflicted servitude for past mistakes 

Keep the peace or wait for the comments to begin

My mind and spirit is what they want to break

She Came In

She came in like the autumn wind

Her wicked smile causes goosebumps on my skin

Embers of memories dancing  in the  nighttime air

Sent of her perfume  weaves the spell.

Black lipstick stains her glass as she deeply drinks

Fresh nail marks on my back begin to sting.

Lost in her darkness, I am found

She is a queen with a thorny crown.

Staying but for a little while, then gone again

Most delicious taste of the deepest sin

Holding onto moments made in the briefest of time.

Knowing I will never call her mine.

Falling Farther

I see the lines growing deeper

Each day in the mirror a little weaker

Brown eyes turning grey

How could life simply slip away

Falling farther into the further

Losing the old me to time gone by

Make believe I’m doing alright

Easy to lie, self inflicted isn’t murder

Another night passes and I’m not the same

Holding in the hate and self destructive shame

Dreams of a world no longer there

Can’t break a heart that isn’t there

Falling farther into the further

Losing the old me to time gone by

Make believe I’m doing alright

Easy to lie, self inflicted isn’t murder

Mirror man tells me it’s the end of the line

For all my running, I’ve run out of time

Forgotten choices that I never made

No more chances, no more one more day.

Falling farther into the further

Losing the old me to time gone by

Make believe I’m doing alright

Easy to lie, self inflicted isn’t murder

Should you hear my name whispered on the wind

Know every beginning has its end.

When the memory of me can give you a smile.

Breaking the sadness , even for a little while.

Falling farther into the further

Losing the old me to time gone by

Make believe I’m doing alright

Easy to lie, self inflicted isn’t murder

Figment of a prayer

Learned he hard way how to not care

Close my eyes , and let it all pass me by

Consumed by misery and despair 

Living life on the figment of a prayer 

 Broken down, left to my own demons

Fits of sanity intermingled with fanciful reality 

Nothingness is left to believe in

Contentment found waiting for the end to begin

All The

All the would, should or could haves

Go up in a cloud of smoke

Hourglass running empty

This life is some celestial joke

Give up the idea of ideal

Fall freely into the wicked

Unleash all that has been pent up inside

The dark, sick, and the twisted

Undeserving to unrelenting 

Cut the cords with a rusty knife

Never look back at the bridges burning 

Take a deep breath and at last, live life.

Make My Stand

You thought, and hoped, it had  changed

Time ebbing by faster, vortex of  indecisive giving

Going through the motions is not really living 

Sleepless nights of crushing blame

Reality is a jagged pill to swallow

Choking it down with the ashes of dreams

Rainbows bleeding grey, deafening silent screams

Shattered perceptions leave a soul hollow

Looking at the ghost of what you wanted to be

Acceptance of what is, causing strength to cower

Once again, alone, crying in the shower

Wondering if there is more in which to believe

Starting over was not part of the plan

Gone as far in this illusion as anyone could

No longer caring about shouldn’t or should

Want to feel alive for once so I must make my stand

Final Credits

I went to a movie last night

Setting alone in the theater as the lights dim

Waiting with excitement for the start of the film

As it starts I feel that something is not quite right

Images streaming are something that cannot be

The lead looks too much like me

The plot eerily telling the story of my life

Terror sets in, cold with sweat and shaking

Screen flickering, telling the tale of my mistakes 

Showing each time, from my back, I removed a knife

Close my eyes and slowly count to ten

Open them again, wishing to be anywhere but here

Accepting how empty life is, goes beyond mere fear

Just waiting for the final act and those ominous words “The End”

Come Into My Hell

Come into my hell tonight

Feel the flames dancing off your flesh

Struggling, gasping, for your next breath

So deeply twisted but feeling so right

Give yourself to the madness 

Caressing the parts you no longer keep hidden

Touching the torment crawling under your skin

I see your darkness; come, lets dance

Can you feel the essence drain

Fantasy crescendos as the emotions overtake 

Just another deliciously decedent mistake

Memories will linger, delights sustained

Overflowing

Like a river overflowing it’s banks

Wondering when the levy will break

Unable to know where it all comes from

Caught in an undertow you can’t escape 

Heartaches of unfulfilled dreams

Passion and joy coupled with misery

Waves of uncertainty pulling you under

Blackened sun, unable to even breath

Reaching for a hand that isn’t there

Any beacon to light this foreign land

Exhaustion sets in once more

Why can no one understand 

Even the abyss  has a bottom

And will fill up  over time

Unable to hold it all

Till it breaks the heart, spirit and mind.

Burn The Bones

This is not how the story goes

Shatter heart, burn the bones

Misguided intentions and inept discussions

Suffer in self made repercussions

On bended knee, circle the drain

Penance paid, your lies crushed

Naivety lost, you’re not enough 

No, my dear, I am no longer the same

Never make up the time that was lost

Freedoms fortunes carry a remarkable cost

Requiem for what might have been

Drink your own poison, choke on your sin

On bended knee, circle the drain

Penance paid, your lies crushed

Naivety lost, you’re not enough 

No, my dear, I am no longer the same

Carrion eyes see me fade away

Shovel over shoulder, dirt cast on grave

Feel the hollow you forced upon me

Numb to you now, in myself I believe

Slow Down

Going too fast to ever slow down

King nothing with a broken crown

Try to escape a past I know I made

Getting to a point of less self hate 

Image of who I am haunts my dreams

Heart numb and soul unclean

Never feeling comfortable in my own skin

Praying to believe in anything again

When We Are Gone

When we are dead and gone, 

It’s in the lives of those we have touched 

That our memory lives on.

Who Do You Turn To

Who do you turn to when you’re scared.

Want a shoulder to lean on but no one is there.

Been alone for so very long.

Solace is needed, even for the strong.

A comforting word or hug from a friend.

Can make all the difference, in the end.

Tears may fall, and once more loose hope.

Through the fires of life you know how to cope.

Stand firm in the resolve to do it by yourself again.

Come what may, without family or friends.

Empty space all around when your need is the most.

That’s the way it is when you’re nothing but a ghost.

 

The Fallacy of Truth

The fallacy of truth, is that is isn’t a lie.

Always changing, in the blink of an eye.

Holding onto what’s left, from each word you say.

Hoping it will be different, some far off day.

I am a masochist wishing to be broken again.

My torment, retribution, the wages of my sins.

Unintentionally inflicting, the worst kind of hate.

Carry upon my shoulders, the additional weight.

Believable smile stitched upon my face.

Weakening from bloodletting, the draining of grace.

I am where I am, because I choose to be.

Hopelessness engulfing, yet I continue to dream.

I have but myself, no one else to blame.

Given the chance, I would do it all the same.

Always changing, in the blink of an eye.

The fallacy of truth, is that it isn’t a lie.

Brush

Brush the taste of your love across my lips

 And lay me down in your souls embrace.

Satiate thirst with the moisture of a kiss,

Touch forever in the curves of your face.

Welcoming weary traveler home,

Soothing indulgence of this moment, with you, in this place.

As Above

The time has come

To finally see

The moments in life

Never wanted to believe

Looking back in the mirror

Reflection, I wish I didn’t see

Hollow, sunken eyes

Lost light long ago

Why keep pretending 

The gods only know

Regret etched into brow

Forever to follow

Swallow the pills

To get me through

Another wretched day

The absence of you

Carve in a smile

That’s what’s left to do

Hardened heart

Preparation for the attack

Tis the closest friends

Drive knife in the back

Earthen burial mound

Stones neatly stacked

Those you let in

You may never know

Will they be there forever

Or out the door they will go

Heaven and Hell do not matter 

For as above, so below 

In Your Eyes

Sparkle of infinity stretching across the cosmos.

Secrets kept safe from the decay of truth.

Wanton desires brushing across the corners of lips.

Releasing all, lost in this moment, nothing I have to prove. 

I Disapear

Fading grace with broken wings.

Scorched in the light of the midnight queen.

Drink the poison of love unseen 

 And lay on a bed of broken dreams.

What once was, shall not be again.

Heart torn open, bone ripped from skin.

Sirenic enchantments, a battle you cannot win.

Grasping for peace, pray for the end to begin.

Choking on the noose I placed around my neck.

Subtle indifference that I cannot forget

Too far into the abyss, my path is set.

Heaven consummated in  the flame of Hells regret.

Held captive as time passes, year after year.

Fleeting failure, realization draws near.

Unspoken emotion, never again to feel.

Flicker into memory as I disappear.

Time To Go

The air is heavy in the room tonight.

Standing here looking upon the absence that used to be me.

Tears stream down my face, though never touch the floor.

Realization opens with a silent primal scream.

Mind races, searching for answers to the unknown.

Trying to bring rational to the uncomfortable truth.

Gravity sets in of all the things unsaid.

Forgotten dreams, lost opportunities and misspent youth.

I can only hope that I did enough with the time given.

The moments shared truly let you know.

One last fleeting kiss upon the wind.

Hand touches my shoulder and like that, it’s time to go.

Somewhere on the Trade Winds

Same old, same old, day after day.

Put a smile on, I am fine is all I say.

Hedging my bets, praying for a parlay.

Tired of waiting for this life to begin.

Man in the mirror is a stanger to me.

Getting harder to somehow believe.

There is more to life than what I am able to see.

Wish to wake caressed by the trade winds.

Come, let’s live our lives somewhere in the sun.

Kick off our shoes, let the ties that bind be undone.

Take a chance on happiness, let our spirits wildly run.

Ride the tides into eternity and drown our sins. 

Drift along the shores of forever.

Tangled hearts beating as one together.

Sipping rum, singing out of tune, louder than ever.

Holding each other close, forgetting the days we used to ask…when.

 

Would You Mind

Would you mind if I walked with you awhile.

Crossroads are the strangest places I’ve known.

Weary souls meeting while trying to make it home.

Company to keep as we cross the desolate miles.

Time seems forgotten as the journey goes on.

Laughter fills the void of hollow sorrow.

Looking forward, at last, to another tomorrow.

While in my heart, I know, here is not where I belong.

Days speed by faster than the mind can comprehend.

The landscape becomes barren, conversation fades.

Unspoken truths as final as nightshade.

Paths intermingle but for a moment, separate in the end.

Sunsets one more time, alone again in harsh exile.

Bearing the weight of my choices for all time.

Eternally seeking worthiness within my own mind.

Whisper in the darkness, “would you mind if I walked with you awhile”.

Crooked Tree

I sit beneath the old crooked tree.

All bent and weathered just like me.

We sit in silence, he and I.

Staring at the moonlit sky.

What tomorrow brings for either of us.

Makes no difference we do what we must.

Neither are willing to give up the fight.

Not on this deep dark night.Mind wanders to life lessons learned.Unable to change what my heart does yearn.

All the storms I have yet to see.

May I always be as strong as the old crooked tree.

The Bridge You Burn

Charmed from a distance is what life ‘s  become,

But none can see the demons you’re running from.

Put on a smile and bury all that you feel,

Running from yourself is less than ideal.

Never to think that the next bridge you burn,

Just might be the one you’re standing on.